The Historical Feminist Roundtable, Bucket List Edition


Justine Zwiebel/BuzzFeed


HYPATIA: Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Feminist Round Table, where I invite some of history’s most notable feminists to discuss an important and timely topic. I’m very excited to welcome an amazing panel of women to our show today. Everyone, please give a big round of applause to St. Joan of Arc, Abigail Adams, Louisa May Alcott, and Alanis Morissette. So, today, we’ll be talking about what should be on a woman’s bucket list. Ladies, what do you think?


LOUISA MAY ALCOTT: Living free of men.


HYPATIA: You mean, before marriage?


LOUISA MAY: Always.


ST. JOAN OF ARC: Oui. I agree with Mademoiselle Alcott. Men, they are…needy.


ABIGAIL ADAMS: Oh, but we love their foolishness so!


LOUISA MAY: Eh.


HYPATIA: OK, what else should be on the list? Alanis?


ALANIS MORISSETTE: I think all women should learn how to come.


(Abigail Adams and Louisa May Alcott titter.)


ST. JOAN: What is this?


HYPATIA: She means, you know, to orgasm.


ST. JOAN: What is this?


HYPATIA: Let’s move on. What else should be on a woman’s bucket list?


ST. JOAN: All women should know what it’s like to lead an army!


ABIGAIL: Or form a new country!


ALANIS: Or kiss Dave Coulier!


HYPATIA: Well…


ALANIS: Oh, sorry, wrong ex. I mean: kiss Ryan Reynolds!


ALL EXCEPT ST. JOAN: Ooooh, yessss….


ST. JOAN: Who is this?


HYPATIA: What about seeing the Grand Canyon? Or climbing the Eiffel Tower?


LOUISA MAY: Eh.


ABIGAIL: Paris is very pretty! Or so my husband told me. After he came back from a trip to Paris. By himself. While I stayed home. Fomenting rebellion. Ha ha ha!


ALANIS: I think all women should learn to bake something delicious! Not something for a man, but something we love to eat!


LOUISA MAY: Hear, hear!


HYPATIA: Like what?


ALANIS: Brownies!


LOUISA MAY: Roasted potatoes!


ABIGAIL: A Thanksgiving turkey!


ST. JOAN: Those little cakes of ambrosia the Virgin Mary fed me when I was in prison!


(Silence.)


HYPATIA: Thank you, ladies. Any final thoughts on what women should put on their bucket lists?


ABIGAIL: I once beat my husband at whist, and although he was peeved, I was very pleased.


ST. JOAN: I wanted to die nobly, in sacrifice to a purpose larger than myself. And oui, I did! How about putting that on the list?


HYPATIA: Um, I think these are supposed to be more, you know, happy.


ST. JOAN: Oh. Well, the potatoes thing then.


LOUISA MAY: It’s kind of fun to be the sole financial support of your entire family, if by “fun” you mean “utterly terrifying and ultimately forcing you into an early grave.”


HYPATIA: Great.


ALANIS: Kissing Ryan Reynolds is still on the list, right?


HYPATIA: Sure.


ALANIS: Also, writing a song about your ex’s many flaws that goes to No. 1 on the charts.


HYPATIA: It occurs to me that both of those things might be out of many women’s grasp.


ABIGAIL: A nice up of tea, a warm fire when you’re cold, someone to love…


HYPATIA: Those are lovely.


ABIGAIL: And being played by Laura Linney in the miniseries of your husband’s life.


ST. JOAN: Oh, oui, she is merveilleuse.


ALANIS: Mmhmmmm.


LOUISA MAY: Yes.


ABIGAIL: Bae is hawt.


HYPATIA: There you have it, ladies! The ultimate bucket list item is to have your life enacted by Laura Linney. That’s all we have time for today!


LOUISA MAY: Next time, could we talk about work-life balance?


ALANIS: Or the fragile balance of male power and female wiles upon which we’ve all built our careers?


ST. JOAN: Or how the divine feminine cries out from our souls?


HYPATIA: Sure! That or the new hairstyles for spring! See you back here soon for another Feminist Roundtable!






from BuzzFeed - Latest http://www.buzzfeed.com/shannonreed/lean-out?utm_term=4ldqpia

Commentaires

Enregistrer un commentaire

Thank you to leave a comment on my site

Posts les plus consultés de ce blog

Kid draws a hilarious family portrait, featuring his mother on her period

Image
Periods are normal, but kids pointing them out in their sketches is something else. Australian woman Penny Rohleder shared a photo of her son's drawing on the Facebook page of blogger Constance Hall on Jul. 25, which well, says it all. SEE ALSO: James Corden tests out gymnastics class for his son and is instantly showed up by children "I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed that my 5 year old son knows this," Rohleder wrote.  "Julian drew a family portrait. I said 'What's that red bit on me?' And he replied, real casual, 'That's your period.'"  Well, at least he knows. To give further context, Rohleder revealed she had pulmonary embolism in October 2016, and was put on blood thinning treatment which makes her periods "very, very bad," she explained to the Daily Mail . Read more... More about Australia , Parenting , Culture , Motherhood , and Periods from Mashable http://mashable.com/2017/07/31/period-mo...
Lire la suite

Chris Froome sends out strong message to his rivals as he storms back to win Criterium du Dauphine for the second time

British rider Chris Froome launched one of his blistering mountain attacks to win the Criterium du Dauphine race for the second time, clinching the eighth stage to take the yellow jersey. from Articles | Mail Online http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/othersports/article-3123660/Chris-Froome-sends-strong-message-rivals-storms-win-Criterium-du-Dauphine-second-time.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490
Lire la suite

This Is What Fish Oil Supplements Actually Do

For centuries , humans have used fish oils, orally or topically, to treat a wide array of ailments, from aches and pains to rickets and gout. The popularity of this supplement has shifted over the years, as have its primary uses. But over the past couple of decades, the hype around fish oil has arguably reached an all-time high. According to National Institutes of Health statistics , in 2012, at least 18.8 million Americans used about $1.3 billion dollars worth of fish oil, making it the third most widely used supplement in the nation. (Sales reportedly flattened out at about that level around 2013.) Today, many use it because they believe it will broadly help their heart health , but others hold that fish oil can help with renal health, bone, and joint conditions, cognitive functions and mental wellness, and any number of other conditions. But is fish oil really as good for you as millions of Americans believe it is? Who should be taking it and when? We dove into the research and ...
Lire la suite